Thoughts and Random Musings

It never fails...

2008-08-08T13:59:03Z

that no matter how many times I watch Pride and Prejudice, I still love it and maybe a little more each time.

Now that's good stuff. I love all of Jane Austen's masterpieces but P&P is by far my favorite. And the movie released a few years ago with Kiera Knightly and Matthew MacFayden is fantastic.

I want to be Elizabeth Bennet. Her character is just written amazingly. And is exhibited so in the assembly scene. The first bit of quotes is Elizabeth and her friend Charlotte overhearing Mr. Darcy talking to his friend Mr. Bingley. The second quote is a conversation they're having later proving that Elizabeth kicks ass.

Mr. Bingley: But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable.
Mr. Darcy: Barely tolerable, I dare say. But not handsome enough to tempt me. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.
Charlotte Lucas: Count your blessings Lizzie. If he liked you, you'd have to talk to him.
Elizabeth Bennet: Precisely. As it is I wouldn't dance with him for all of Darbyshire, let alone the miserable half.

(And a little later...)

Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the fruit of love.
Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead .
Mr. Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?
Elizabeth Bennet: Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

And then she walks away as he stares at her dumbfounded. It's beautifully done.

Elizabeth Bennet, you're my hero.
Mr. Darcy, you've stolen my heart.

What once was lost, now is found.

2008-08-08T03:05:01Z

I wrote a poem in college and it was by far my favorite. I was even approached about publication. I thought I'd lost it when I lost my jump drive but I found a hard copy! Here it is!

Rubens' Women
Another Attempt at a Pantoum
By Angela Stodieck

Naked in front of a full-length mirror
you roll and press those folds of flesh.
Thinking about Rubens' women, and
how the critics can call them art.

You roll and press those folds of flesh,
delighting in yet another mocha.
How the critics can call them art,
inspires a new perspective.

Delighting in yet another mocha,
thinking about Rubens' women;
inpires a new perspective
naked in front of a full-length mirror.

Writer's Block: On Your Tombstone

2008-08-01T20:34:40Z

What do you want written on your gravestone and why?

Submitted By sharky123

View 502 Answers

Angela Christine _____ (married last name to be determined)
Born: October 25, 1982
Relegated to the past tense: ______ (date of death)

I feel I have to explain though. When someone is alive you say things like "Patti IS," "Patti likes," "Patti has." When they die, you say things like "Patti was," "Patti liked," and "Patti had." You stop being in the present and are relegated to the past. So when I die, I want the date of my death to be labeled as "Relegated to the past tense:"

A copy of an OKCupid journal post

2008-07-27T03:13:28Z

So I haven't had much luck on this site. Guy A has disappeared. Phone guy who was talking to me everyday hasn't said anything since tuesday. My pen pal and I chit chat back and forth via email every few days and he's a blast to listen to.

Other than that, I've got nothin. Am I searching in vain? Part of me wants to hand it over to God and let Him make the moves. But part of me believes that God helps those that help themselves. In otherwords, I wont have an opportunity to find Mr. Right if I'm not out there making myself available.

I don't know though. The search is exhausting. I bought a card at the Dallas Museum of Art that had a great quote on it. It says, "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." (Guillaume Apollinaire) Maybe that's better advice than I originally knew.

I got two other cards as well. One says, "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the trip worthwhile." (Franklin P Adams) And the other says, "I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful." (Marilyn Monroe)

They speak to three things that dominate my thoughts more often than anything else: Happiness, Love, and Money.

Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad.

Either way, I just have to remember to be thankful for what I do have and to keep praying.

God listens. Even when no one else is.

Peace

Online dating

2008-07-22T13:52:02Z

So here's an entry I posted to my journal on OKCupid. It's an online dating site that I am registered for and it's about the guy I met and went on a date with recently.

So remember GA (which stood for Guy A)? I went on a "blind" date with him a week ago today. Well I FINALLY heard from him. Wanna know what he had to say? I'll show you.

"Hey there,

I apologize for not having sent you a message or talked to you before now you probably think I am a jerk or something so I apologize for that. Anyway I just wanted to say that I really had a great time with you on our date and I think you are so beautiful. I would love to see you again sometime, but I also think I should be honest that I dont know what type of relationship or dating experience I can offer right now. I am sure that sounds weird, but let me try to explain. I am currently just taking one class and working non stop the rest of the time. I very rarely have any time off and when I do I have so many things I need to do like go see my family, pay bills, get haircuts, look for a new place to live, take the dog to the vet, study, write papers etc etc etc. I imagine when I am taking more classes this fall it is going to get worse. If we lived closer it might be easier but right now I am just worried that you would get frustrated with me. When I get home I am not the type to call and talk for an hour, because there is so much else I need to be doing, anyway I just wanted to you to know all this. I would love to see you again sometime, but after I got back and thought about how we seemed to click i started thinking about all this other stuff and it almost felt unfair of me to delude myself into thinking i could provide a real relationship right now does that make any sense.

GA"

Wow... it was great. You're great. BUT... I might have to take my dog to the vet so I don't think I can commit to a relationship. Ok, yes there were better excuses in there like school (and he's going to med school so it's no small task) but really? So I was a little ticked off.

Here's what I replied:

"Wow...I thought you were history. I know you're busy but would it have been hard to drop a quick "Had a good time. I'll write/call later this week"? It doesn't matter. I just let my boundaries down on our date and it was unnerving to not hear a word for a week.

I don't really know what to say about your message. But I definitely don't want to be on someone's back burner. And if I'd be taking a back seat to everything you mentioned then I don't really feel like it would be worth my time or yours. As I said pretty clearly in my profile and on our date, I want to find the man God has planned for me to marry and I don't feel like biding my time with someone is productive in that quest.

So I guess what I'm saying is that until you feel like you're ready to be fully in a relationship, I just can't let myself get involved. I fall hard and fast and I don't want to give myself the added heartbreak.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. But if what you say is true, it's not what I'm looking for. Have a great week.

Angela"

So that's where GA stands. Unfortunately, so far there is no GB (Guy B) unless you count my phone guy (who I met selling my phone on Craigslist) or my penpal (who's freaking awesome!) but I don't really think either can count since I didn't meet phone guy on OKC and my penpal isn't in the running for dating. At least we haven't talked about it. So yeah. That's my update for today. Just thought I'd let all my "fans" keep up in my relentless search for a man.

Peace

Going to bridal shows is like eating knives...

2008-07-21T14:40:22Z

I am a bridesmaid in my best friend's upcoming wedding. Her sisters, both of whom live in California, are her matrons of honor, but since they can't be here, I've kind of stepped up to the plate. So today, we went to the bridal show in Fort Worth.

Initially, I was kind of excited. She's already found her dress, the photographer and the florist so all we were looking for really was cakes, DJs and inivtations. But in all actuality, when you're single (and miserably so), bridal shows are like putting lemon juice on an open wound. Everywhere you turn people attack you for your wedding date and details and you have to explain that you are not the bride, you're just here to support her. Not to mention all the freakishly happy couples running around. It was rough. And since my most successful match so far on OKCupid has been my new penpal friend, I don't see a wedding in my near future... or the far future for that matter. So it's pretty hard to have one of your deepest desires dangling in front of you and not be able to be a part of it.

But I have to give props to my penpal. :0) We've just been emailing back and forth but it's always exciting to get something from him. I just hope he is equally excited to see emails from me.

On another wedding note, I have found my dream dress. It's one that my best friend tried on but didn't pick (thankfully) and it was the very FIRST dress in the fashion show today. If I thought there was ANY possibility of me getting married in the near future I would buy it and just save it. You can see it here.

http://www.casablancabridal.com/Products/Detail.asp?View=B&ModelNo=1894&Cat=Best%20Seller&SubCat=

Last updated 11 weeks ago...

2008-04-24T01:54:04Z

So lets see... that means that there are a few big things that have happened since then.

The first, is really exciting! Megan and Jason are engaged! Yay! And I'm going to be a bridesmaid and Anna is the flower girl. How freaking cute will that be?

The second is not so exciting. I had ACL reconstruction done my left knee on March 13th. I have been off work ever since. But I am doing really well in therapy and I get to go back to work on Monday! Yay! It's been nice having a 6 week hiatus but I'm ready to see my kids and friends again.

On another note, I've "met" someone online and we seem to have hit it off pretty well. We were supposed to meet in person tonight but the tornado/thunderstorm has messed up our plans. Anyway, we're hoping to get together Saturday. I'll keep you posted as to how it goes. I'm excited though because I haven't been on a real date in a LONG time. So it's going to be nice.

On a sad note, Megan's grampa died last week. She flew out to California today for his funeral on Sunday. It's never easy to lose someone so close to you and I know it's even harder for her since she's so far from home. It's hard too for the people trying to support their friends in the loss of loved ones. What can you say? I mean, sure, I've had grandparents die, but it's never quite the same, is it? And why is it that you can't ever remember what made you feel better at the time? At least then you could have something more intelligent to say than "I'm sorry." Nevertheless, Megan and her entire family are in my prayers.

I've also resolved to write something on here more often. I always feel better when I do. So why wouldn't I do it more often? I don't know for sure. But I'm going to try.

Thank God for laptop batteries because the power just went out here and the computer stayed on. Yay! But it seems that the internet is not working... how I am still typing this, I do not now but hopefully I can post it without having to re-type the whole thing. Anyhow, if anyone still reads this... keep checking in. There will be more!

Random Rant

2008-02-06T19:26:54Z

Gentlemen, please cease reading any further. It's not that I don't like you or that I'm about to discuss some top secret feminine mystery. It's that my current rant involves things... monthly things that you probably could careless about. That being said, my rant will commence.

Ok... getting ready, in my bathroom the other morning, I noticed that on the side of my box of tampons is an absorbancy guide. Hmm... ok. Here's what it says:

Junior absorbency – less than 6 grams
Regular absorbency – 6 to 9 grams
Super absorbency – 9 to 12 gram
Super plus absorbency – 12 to 15 grams
Ultra absorbency – 15 to 18 grams

Ok... So it seems logical. But who the hell knows how much a gram is? If you're an American, you probably have no concept of what a gram is. I know I don't. Sure, nurses or mathematicians know what I gram is but the rest of us?? I doubt it. AND, on top of that, what woman sits around and ponders how many grams (or any unit of mesurement) her flow is??? EWWWW! It's BAD ENOUGH we deal with this on a regular basis but to have to think about it anymore than we all ready do is just criminal.

And thus ends today's random rant.

A Rush

2007-11-29T04:32:31Z

I have now seen the new movie August Rush twice. I saw it once at a "sneek preview" a few weekends ago with my parents and I saw it again tonight with my best friend.

For those of you who know me well, my next declaration may shock you.

I love this movie more than any movie I have ever seen. That holds true for even Pride and Prejudice AND Sense and Sensibility.

At both viewings, I found myself with tears streaming down my face. I think I deserve a little credit though because at my second viewing I didn't start crying until 20 minutes or so after when I started crying the first time. And I also didn't cry with as much intensity the second time. Megan asked me why I cried so hard at a movie whose general outcome is a cheeful one. Initially, I couldn't really explain it.

But I think I've come to a conclusion.

Connections.

It's a powerful idea, connections. As humans, our lives are determined by our connections. To our parents, our siblings, our grandparents, our great grandparents, and our friends, our coworkers, our stock brokers, our drug dealers, our therapists. Our husbands and wives, our children. Our Gods.

Think about it. When things go wrong in our lives, what is it generally a result of? A connection gone bad. A difficult parental relationship, and abusive spouse, the death of a beloved family member... or the lack thereof.

Sure there's other things that go wrong in our lives and so many of us blame others and some of us blame ourselves, some things we can't control. But still we crave a connection.

So what do August Rush and connections and my crying have in common? I don't know. I can't say I don't have connections. I have connections to family and friends and others, even God. Maybe I should ammend my previous statement to include the word "meaningful". We crave meaningful connections. Fufilling connections. Connections that make us feel good about ourselves. Connections that allow us to make others feel good.

I can't say I don't have meaningful connections either. I surely am infinitely blessed to have such an amazing friend by my side no matter how many napkins I cry through or how many times I get angry with her over stupid things.

But maybe we all need a certain connection and until that connection is made, our hearts and minds are on a frantic search. For August, his search was to find his parents. Maybe I'm just lost in my search. Maybe I cried because I long so desperately to find my connection. To feel what August feels when the connection is finally made.

If you've found your connection, be thankful. If you haven't, come join the search, my friend. You're not alone.

Excessive Randomness

2007-10-01T02:59:12Z

Nothing feels better than new panties.

I'm in a state of constant tears. Allergies. Lonliness. Frustration. Etc.

No one can write a character like Jane Austen and NO ONE I know even has the guts to attempt reading one of her books so the depth of my connection with her writing cannot be understood.

I *heart* Mr. Darcy AND Colonel Christopher Brandon. And perhaps the latter moreso than the first.

I set the bar for male companionship too high for anyone to reach.

Fleas are terrible creatures.

I turn 25 in 25 days and my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it.

No one can purchase the thing I want most.

I secretly wish that my friend and family were planning a freaking AMAZING party complete with lots of booze and dancing.

Nothing can cheer me up or pull me down like the lyrics to some of my favorite songs.

I'm a rock star in my car.

I used to be a poet.

I used to be a writer.

For the first time since high school, I feel like my life has some sort of direction.

It's scary.

I still have yet to accomplish much of anything with any significance.

Tears...

To my future husband

2007-09-07T21:25:08Z

I don't know if you're near or far away
But I know that I'm thinking of you today
I don't know if I even know your name
But I know that I'm praying for you just the same

Someday we'll fall in love
You'll be mine and I will be yours
Our hearts will be one
And our love will ever endure

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you
And I'll find you someday
Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you
And I'll be with you always

Our love will be so strong and pure
You will make me feel like I have never felt before
You will be perfect only for me
You will make these eyes begin to see

Someday we'll fall in love
You'll be mine and I will be yours
Our hearts will be one
And our love will ever endure

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you
And I'll find you someday
Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you
And I'll be with you always

Your faith for the Lord will be strong
Even though I know the wait is long
And though I'm young I still belive
That you're out there praying for me

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you
And I'll find you someday
Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you
And I'll be with you always

Hope.

2007-08-13T14:10:30Z

It's the tattoo I have on my left wrist. People ask me about it a lot so I thought I'd explain.

No, it's not the name of the child I had when I was 13. Or 16. Or whenever. I have one kid. Her name is Anna Beth. She'll get her name in a tattoo soon enough.

My life has been a violent rollercoaster of high highs and very low lows. My tattoo is a reminder to myself that I have a reason to be here, that my exsistance is not coincidence and that I have a purpose during my time on this Earth.

Hope. Sometimes it's all you've got and sometimes it's all you need.

I put a period at the end of it for two reason.

1. I'm an English major. The period makes it a sentence.

2. The sentence it forms is a command with the implied subject being "you". It's telling me, "you, hope!" Kind of like when you yell at someone "stop!", what you're really saying is "You, stop!"

So when I feel like the world is against me and I haven't got a reason to go on, I can look at my reminder and remember that I'm where I belong and I have a reason to be here.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat: A Sexual Conquest

2007-08-08T00:56:24Z

So I went to Toni and Guy at Hulen Mall Sunday where Wyatt was assigned to me as my stylist. Anxious I glanced back and saw that the only male in the store was a tall, Hispanic looking gentleman. He had black hair with pink/maroon skunk stripes down each side.

Dear God,
Please let me leave the salon looking like a human being and not a punk skunk.
All my love,
Angela

Then a normal looking gentleman walked into the store and back to a station, where he set down his brunch and came to collect me. I heaved a huge sigh of relief. No punk skunk for me. But it gets better.

Wyatt, my hairdresser, asked me what I wanted to do with my hair. I told him that I was tired of my cottonball factory explosion, frissy hair and that I trusted him to do something with it. The he guided me to the shampoo chair...

I sat down and Wyatt turned on a steamy stream of warm water. "How does this feel?" he asks. Amazing, I thought. Little did I know...

He grabbed a bottle of shampoo and started to massage my head, lathering the heaven-smelling soap into my soon to be gorgeous hair. His fingers worked like magic. But it was only the beginning...

If the shampoo was the foreplay, then the cut was the climax because his hands worked with my hair and maneuvered the scissors with graceful excellence. It was amazing. He proceeded by gently blowing my hair dry and styling it with the same finesse. It was as close to a sexual experience as I've been in... well... too long I suppose.

Then I woke up from the Harlequin romance in my head and told him that I worked at the YMCA and If he came in on Monday when I worked, I could sign him up for a membership (which he was thinking about doing anyway).

And he came and I did.

Self-torture.

2007-08-01T04:26:37Z

I miss my grandmother. And I remember that I miss her in the strangest ways and at the strangest times. Like tonight, while watching the movie "No Reservations" with my Megan. Abigail Breslin's character is dealing with the death of her mom throughout the film and at one point she runs away to her mother's grave. When her aunt finds her, Abigail says, "I'm afraid I'm going to forget her." I started crying.

I cry a lot these days. And for no apparent reason. I don't know if it's just because I'm a compassionate person or if I'm truly going insane. Too much time alone in your own head will do that to you. And since I find myself with a shortage of people to talk to, I usually am talking to myself. I cried last night because I felt like I could relate to the Phantom of the Opera's pain and longing to be loved. It's like that for all unfortunate creatures.

For who could ever love a beast?

I feel for the beasts of the world. I understand their pain. Why bother to love when love is never returned? Sure the Beast got his Beauty. Then he turned into a handsome prince... But what about the Phantom? My heart literally aches for him. He loves Christine with his whole being. Gerard Butler does an amazing job portraying his agony. Must love be so painful? I suppose that's the downside to being compassionate. Those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves so often end up losing out shirts. And our hearts along with them.

What becomes of the broken-hearted?

But I suppose all is not lost. No matter how disfigured I feel, there are two things that do not change. My eyes and my heart. My eyes are the window to my soul and my heart will always beat, so long as still I have something to cling to...

Hope.

Totally ahem in like...

2007-07-29T04:45:42Z

Despite my better judgment, I've decided to pour my heart out here for a second. (After all, that is what a journal is for right?)

Ok... so it's been over three years since I went on my last date. And sure, I've had a few guys I could have been interested in but recently, I've fallen totally "in like" with someone. I guess I've been "noticing" him since... before Christmas but I've only recently started to really crush on him. (No. I will not tell you who he is. If you call yourself my friend, you probably already know anyway.) I've decided that I was only interested in the previous guys just because it's been so long since I've really liked anybody.

But this guy... he's not like the rest of them. And my reaction to him isn't like the one I get around the previous fellas. I anticipate seeing this one. And my heart beats really fast when he's around. And when he's on my mind, I have a hard time focusing on anything else. Don't bother talking to me because I wont hear you.

Here's my "problem": I just don't know what to do with myself. It's like the whole thing is brand new. PLUS! My confidence level pre-Anna and post-Anna are drastically different. I used to be able to approach a guy and be straight with him. "Hey, I like you. Wanna go do something?" Now I sit and suffer in silence. I just can't get up the nerve to say anything. I think the confidence plays a major role in that dilemma. I also think the fear of rejection keeps me from just throwing myself out into the ring again. Not to mention that I come with "baggage." Admittedly, it comes in adorable packaging, but it's baggage nonetheless. To quote Jude Law's character Alfie (from the movie with the same name), "Never get involved with a single mom. They come with accessories, some of which can be unfortunately irresistible." It's true. Sentiments like that don't exactly get me pumping to throw my heart out there. I already wear it on my sleeve. How much more vulnerable do I have to make myself..?

Anyway, whining aside, in my deepest dreams, I hope that he figures out on his own that i have this silly school girl crush on him and then HE can make a move. Of course that's relying on the fact that he is, in all actuality, "in like" with me too. Which is NOT a confirmed fact in any way, shape or form. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

Cinderella said to Snow White,
Why does love get so off course?
Oh, all I wanted was a white knight,
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse,
Ride me off into the sunset,
Baby, I'm forever yours.

-This Kiss

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

-Holding Out For A Hero

Writer's Block: Bump In The Night

2007-07-26T20:43:47Z

What are you afraid of?

Spiders... big, little, furry, poisonous, not... I don't care. If it has eight legs, its not my friend.
Being alone. Now, in the future, forever.
Failure.
An empty church at my funeral.

Fine!

2007-07-26T18:05:55Z

I did it folks. I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I cried. Several times. No spoilers; don't worry. But I can't WAIT until people I know finish it. I'm desperate to talk about it. It's going to make for one hell of a movie that's for sure.

I thought it would take me a while to read it seeing as I have a job and a kid (which is like having a full time job) but I basically ignored the kid for 3.5 days. Yes, I feel a little bad for letting my kid watch cartoons for 3.5 days straight while I feverishly plowed through the final adventure in the Harry Potter saga. But I'm done.

It's bittersweet really. For "kids" my age, we've been reading these books for the last 10 years. Ten years! The first book came out in 1997. I was thirteen! I feel like Harry Potter is the Star Wars of our generation. Now don't get me wrong, they are very different series but the phenomenon is the same. So it's kind of sad to know that there will be no more Harry Potter books.

I suppose I can hold onto the movies for a while longer. It looks like Half Blood Prince is supposed to be out November 21, 2008. And Deathly Hallows wont be out until 2010. So I can just hold on to those, I suppose. But while I think the movies have been beautifully done, they just aren't the books. *Sigh*

I *heart* you, Harry Potter.

Musings of a sick Guitar Hero

2007-07-18T03:40:07Z

I usually consider myself to be relatively educated on all things cool and current that are relevant to people of my generation. I may not always partake in the coolness (a good example being Bermuda shorts.) However, until this evening I had only heard of, not witnessed nor researched, Guitar Hero. My knowledge of this new, cult hit, in the video gaming community had not reached me, except for the fact that my BFF bought it for her boyfriend for some celebration of his... theirs... whatever. Beyond that I knew nothing. Until tonight. At approximately 9:20pm, my brother (also known as T.T.T.T.S.B.V.S. or T to the 4th, S.B.V.S. for short) and his BFF Beth H. brought over the beloved toy. I watched as my bro played with effort on songs set at medium. I thought, there's no way I can do this. But! Do not forget my not so distant past allowed me to perform, with ease, the former coordination phenomenon, Dance Dance Revolution. If said game could be mastered by yours truly than why not this one? So after a few demos of what hard and advanced looked like, I decided my maiden... no scratch that... VIRGIN attempt at the marvelous Guitar Hero II should not be taken lightly and chose to begin at easy. Where, to the tune of The Police's Message In a Bottle, I tried feverishly to coordinate my two hands as they strummed and caressed the multichromatic instrument. I should have know better. I failed. Miserably. After about 60 seconds of intense struggle.

But wait! Who was it who said, If at first you don't succeed, try! Try again! (Note: Punctuation added for emphasis.)

Who cares! I did it anyway! And whoever may be credited with said phrase was right about trying at least twice because I again failed! But do not fear! I passed on my third try! Success is a sweet thing.

With my confidence souring and my bro and Beth H. popping popcorn and ignoring my rocker screams, I attempted the great Carry On My Waywary Son, sung by the one and only, Kansas! (Not the state, the band... for clarification. Actually the Governor of Kansas attempted to record the wonderful melody using the vocal talents of the people of the state of Kansas, but it was determined that the entire state is tone deaf.) It memorium of my basketball band, tuba playing days at TCU, I plowed through the song, while screaming 34!!! at the top of my lungs. With much effort I completed 67% of my plight to the end of the classic ballad. (Much like my success rate at TCU, so appropriate.) Hey! But in college, that's a D and its passing. So go me!

And all of this was done while in fits of intense chills due to my 103.2 fever.

And now, I take my last bow, at my last curtain call of the night. But fear not Guitar Hero II. I will return.

Writer's Block: By Any Other Name

2007-07-16T03:15:55Z

If you could rename yourself in real life, what would you choose, and why?

I have a lot of girls names that I like a lot. Clare, Cate, Jane, and many others. I really like the name Evangeline. I'd probably go with that. Then my name would go with my midieval princess fantasies. :) Who wouldn't want to be a damsel in distress who gets saved by the handsome prince?

HP, Million Bucks, Broken Road

2007-07-15T03:35:24Z

I've now seen Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix twice. I'm also willing to go again with anyone who hasn't seen it. I even made shirts for me and Megan to wear to the book premier. I love saying that. The book premier. It sounds like we'll be walking the red carpet in Hollywood somewhere... and like our shirts we're made by Vera Wang herself (and not by me with tshirts and paint from Hobby Lobby). That's the shirts on the front and the back. (They're from my cell phone so they're not great photos.) I think Vera Wang would be proud. Mine is the Harry shirt and Megan's is the Ron shirt. It's exciting really.

On another note, for those of you who don't know, I work at the Membership Services desk at the YMCA. In May we had a membership special going on that discounted the joining fees anywhere from 100-25%. Our goal was to sell 300 memberships. Our stretch goal was 350. We ended up selling over 400 memberships. So they footed the bill at Joe's Crab Shack tonight.

I worked this morning, got my nails done and went home. It was about 4pm when I got home. I had planned on just changing clothes and going to dinner as I was. However, I was sitting around the house watching our new 42" LCD TV (yay!) and my mom says, "don't you need to go get ready?" I told her I was going to just put on a different shirt and go. To which she replied, "you cannot go out looking like that. How can you expect to meet anybody if you don't care what you look like?" I was a little flabbergasted but I found my bearings and asked her who I was supposed to impress, the membership services girls??? She told me that the restraunt would be full of guys and you never know where you might meet someone. This was still shocking as I have electoric proof that my mom thinks my love life is a complete loss. So to be getting lectured on what I looked like was a little more than strange. (I didn't look bad , by the way. I was wearing jeans a a cute tee-with my hair in a ponytail.) Nevertheless, I went and showered, shaved my legs, blow dried my hair, rolled it in hot rollers, styled it, did my make up, put on my best pair of jeans, my hottest looking top, the glossiest lip gloss I own and my favorite Channel Chance perfume and I left the house feeling like a million bucks.

We had a good time. Dinner tasted even better than normal because it was free. We wrapped up the dinner portion of the evening and several of the ladies left, leaving only a half dozen of us there. My lovely coworker who we'll call Bodiqua, offered to buy drinks. So I got a shaker margarita. It was cute. It came in its own colorful shaker that I got to take home. Drinks wound down and I finally left about nine. I got home and promptly changed back into my "comfy" clothes, snuggled with my baby girl and put her to bed.

Here's what I noticed though. On my way home, still feeling like a million bucks, I was looking around at the stop lights to see whoI could "car flirt" with. I know, I'm shameless. Only trouble was that everyone I saw had a passenger, a partner. And I thought, <i> I want a passenger.</i> Where's my Saturday night passenger? I'm not really on the hunt for a boyfriend right now. I have a crush or two, here or there, but nothing serious (at least not on the reciprocating end). But it still sucks to not qualify for the HOV lane on a Saturday night. ESPECIALLY when you're all gussied up and raring to go. But alas, here I am, still in my jammies and lamenting to you. Whoever you are. Who reads this anyway? I guess I'm just a little bit lonely right now. Kind of in the middle of the spectrum. I've felt worse about being so single but I've felt better too. I was getting my nails done today and "God Blessed the Broken Road" played over the radio. I fought the welling tears in my eyes and won. Because that song is SO right. All the broken roads are leading me right to the man God has for me to marry. If something hadn't gone wrong with all the others, then my heart wouldn't be prepared for meeting the right one. It's the waiting for him that's the hard part. Especially when your 25th birthday is breating down your neck and all your friends that are the same age are tying the knot or about to. Oh well. My day will come.</p>

Home again!

2007-07-11T08:26:01Z

Hey ho! I am back from vacation. (It was amazing... more later!) The 3am news worthy news though is that I saw Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix tonight at the midnight(ish) showing.

DON'T WORRY! No spoilers!!!

One word: FANTASTIC. I've already got plans to see it again on Friday. As always, Daniel, Rupert and Emma gave us a great show (although I still don't think they duped the scene in #4 when Hermoine punches Malfoy in the face). I think it could have been a bit longer. (Ahh! Don't hit me!) Seriously though, OotP was the longest book right? And it was full of amazingly written intricacies that just weren't present in the film. They did do a great job developing the overall dark and tense feeling though. It was really fun seeing the characters grow up. I heart Emma Watson! BUT!!! My FAVORITE new character is LUNA! Luna Lovegood is officially on the top of my "fave hp characters" list. I loved her character in the book but the screen did a good job bringing her to life. When you see her, you'll see one reason why I like her. I am not alone! I swear I've seen the actress that plays her in something else but IMDB only has HP5 listed as her experience. What a start! Anyway. It's 3:22 am now and I need to go to bed but I have one thing else to add on a personal note:

It is possible to be completely overcome by excitement and be completely down spirited at the same time. But, I've got one thing, "something worth fighting for."

Higher education! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

2007-06-30T02:31:27Z

Ok... I know. I'm a moron. I paid for a LiveJournal and in the last 15 weeks, I've not posted a damn thing. I loved LJ when I was in college, kid free and care free. It was fantastic. I had in interesting day to day life not dominated by loose bowel movements and constant battles at the dinner table. Ahh the life of a parent. Truth is I have an amazing kid, two part time acceptable jobs, and a roof over my head. Here's the problem: I have a bazzilion dollar education under my belt, an undeniable urge to be OUT of my parents' place forever, and an uncanny issue with finding a real job. It's not for lack of trying. I've applied to seriously, 30 different places and have had absolutely no luck. Makes me wonder if dropping out of school would have been a good idea. Businesses all want experience. Nevermind the fact that I've been in school, growing and expanding my knowledge and skills for the last 6 years. They want real, on the job experience that I can't give them.

Interruption! We're experiencing brown outs and possible technical difficulties. I will resume my rant at a later time.

PS> I'm headed to Colorado tomorrow. So despite the fact that my postings to date are scarce, the situation will not improve until I return. But do not fear! I am returning to the age old tradition of pen and paper to record my raving thoughts while I am gone until they can be properly transfered to my lovely (but cheap) computer.

Already...

2007-03-12T00:01:37Z

A new journal and I'm already lagging in posts... *sigh*

I REALLY want to see Bridge to Terabithia. BADLY but seeing as my best friend and movie buddy (one in the same) have no desire to see it, I haven't been able to force myself to go alone. It's sad really. I need a movie buddy. Someone who wants to see anything and everything. I'd even be up for a good horror film every once in a while. Ugh. Oh well.

I have a crush. It's silly really because in all actuality, it would take a miracle and a LOT of gas for anything to happen. I'm pretty sure he's not interested though. Despite the assurances of my delusional best friend. It is fun to have a crush though. It's been so long...

Here We Are, Together Again

2007-03-05T19:29:56Z

Live Journal and I go way back. Back to when you had to know someone who already had one who could give you a code so you could get one. That was like... in middle school. I've been facing a lot of stress and frustration lately due mainly to my increasing school load (18 hours in my last semester...), lacking love life, starving social life, empty wallet syndrome, increasing job stress and not to mention that I am a single mother to an adorable (but extremely lively) two year old. All that being accounted for, I find myself needing an outlet. Read it or don't I really don't care. I just like writing. It's like my own personal opinion column and Lord knows I have an opinion. So enjoy this small ,but significant, window into my soul.